Shannon Simone Miller - transition http://shannonmiller.me/tags/transition en How do you keep your sanity when everything around you is changing? http://shannonmiller.me/2015/09/17/how-do-you-keep-your-sanity-when-everything-around-you-is-changing <div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>They say change is a good thing and yes, we all know it is. It is the place that allows us to grow, the place where new opportunities and journeys are born, yet it still can be one heck of an adjustment. The adjustment can be magnified when not only are we having big personal changes (and yes they can be good) but when our immediate circle of loved ones are also experiencing a shift.</p> <p> </p><div class="media-element-container media-full"> <div id="file-74" class="file file-image file-image-png"> <h2 class="element-invisible"><a href="/file/74">sanityft.png</a></h2> <div class="content"> <span id="styles-3-0" class="styles file-styles large"> <img width="480" height="240" id="3" typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.shannonmiller.me/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/sanityft.png?itok=COVxYQwC" alt="" title="" /></span> </div> </div> </div> <p>We all rely on our circles as our support system, the stable ground that we can stand on when our own leaves us feeling like we have been trying to hold on to life before another aftershock rolls through. It also isn't easy seeing those we love struggle even when we know they will be better for it in the long run.</p> <p>I am speaking from a very personal space, some of the most amazing loving people in my life are going through profound transition. Their humor and stamina make me admire them even more and they make me look at life with an even greater level of appreciation for the times we get bored and think things are just the same. For the days we forget to stop and relish what an amazing gift what is in our presence truly  is. It is also in these humble moments when I am reminded we can't fix it for each other, we can't take away the pain. The best we can do is hug each other like crazy, throw love around and wait with joyful anticipation for the sun to shine again, knowing it always does.</p> <p> <br /> </p><div class="media-element-container media-full"> <div id="file-40" class="file file-image file-image-png"> <h2 class="element-invisible"><a href="/file/40">flower_quote.png</a></h2> <div class="content"> <span id="styles-5-0" class="styles file-styles large"> <img width="480" height="480" id="5" typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.shannonmiller.me/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/flower_quote.png?itok=OYtxCtBZ" alt="" title="" /></span> </div> </div> </div> <p>So how do you keep your sanity when everything around you is changing? By embracing the fact that we don't have the power to correct the Universe. For understanding in these moments time may stand a bit too still for our liking but there is reason for this. It is to allow the planting of new seeds for a Spring that is right around the corner.</p> <p>We keep our sanity by doing what we can, without the expectation of perfection. Where we clean our plate off of a few items that may be bogging us down in this sensitive time. We keep our sanity by honoring the need to go within, to be still, to be quiet, to read and to practice self love.</p> <p>We keep our sanity by offering a kind word, letting someone know that we are there, letting ourselves know that we are there. We keep our sanity by writing down our feelings so one day we can read through this moment and relish in how strong we really are. We keep our sanity by allowing ourselves to lose it just a little and let that be okay. We keep our sanity by allowing ourselves the space to not be okay at this moment trusting we don't need anyone's permission to do so. We keep our sanity by knowing we are beautifully imperfect in all that we are and that is a marvelous things.</p> <p> </p> <p>If you enjoyed the post comment below, if this can help someone you know please share it with them.</p> </div></div></div><div class="field field-name-field-tags field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/transition" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">transition</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/change" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">change</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/motivation" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">motivation</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/growth" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Growth</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/self-love" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">self love</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/life" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">life</a></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-field-related-article field-type-entityreference field-label-above"><div class="field-label">You may also like:&nbsp;</div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><a href="/2015/02/13/say-goodbye-to-the-past-and-move-forward-with-this-simple-exercise">Say goodbye to the past and move forward with this simple exercise</a></div></div></div> Fri, 18 Sep 2015 04:57:10 +0000 Shannon 35 at http://shannonmiller.me http://shannonmiller.me/2015/09/17/how-do-you-keep-your-sanity-when-everything-around-you-is-changing#comments It's not a midlife crisis it's a midlife awakening so enjoy it http://shannonmiller.me/2015/04/08/its-not-a-midlife-crisis-its-a-midlife-awakening-so-enjoy-it <div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>Why is it called a midlife crisis? Why not a midlife awakening? Is it so wrong, after years of following the rules that our parents, teachers and society has laid out before us to finally wake up and take back our youthful wonder and engagement in the world? You often hear he/she is crazy they are acting like a child. Why does he need to buy a fast car? Why is she working out all the time? What do they have to prove?</p> <p>In our quest to place things in a tidy little box is it possible that our comments are laden with jealously and discomfort because we too long to be adventurous and live yet we don't have the guts to do it. When did getting older mean depleting the zest from our life. How can we be a good example for our children or the world at large if we lose sight of the wonder that is around us? Can we not work hard, be good people and have fun too?</p> <p>We cite things like affairs, car purchases and exercise as hallmarks that define alterations that are taking place. But let's get real here, people do all of those things at a younger age; maybe the difference is when we are younger we can't go out and buy an expensive car but many of us sure as heck would if we had the means to do so. Humans are fallible we make messes, me make mistakes.</p> <p>I know you, like myself sometimes wish we could have avoided all of the challenges and learned the lessons we needed to without a mess, without pain. We make gigantic asses out of ourselves, we do it from birth until death. I understand the idea that we should be older and wiser but perhaps it's time we bag that cliché and focus on the fact that the human experience is wrought with pitfalls, ditches, and twisting turning patches that can lead you into Utopia or a mire of crap. Sometimes it's a little bit of both; heaven and hell intermixed. The journey is different for each of us. We can judge, place blame, shake our fingers or we can just accept we belong to the same darn club. </p> <blockquote><p><strong>"Here comes 40. I'm feeling my age and I've ordered the Ferrari. I'm going to get the whole mid-life crisis package." -Keanu Reeves</strong></p> </blockquote> <p>Is a midlife crisis a construct we create to give a disease like reason to something we just can't nail down? Is it possible there is a bit of midlife awareness going on and that awareness, even if it is an urging for nothing more than for us to live, explore and venture out do have new experiences is just what the soul craves. Clearly, we find discomfort with relationships altering, people pursuing new things, life being shaken up in ways we don't understand. And, if this shaking happens to us, we want reason, answers and we relish labels so, sticking a shiny title to it does the trick for us and everyone around us. Blow off the labels and embrace your insatiable desire to grow and go with it. We are human, we are supposed to keep evolving so remeber that if you feel judged let the opinions roll off your back like water.</p> <p>I think the greatest lesson on the topic of midlife growth and transition is acceptance. Accepting changes, unseen forces and the push and machination of the soul. You have one life to live and I find it doubtful at the end of the road you will regret living, even if it is messy, though I can guarantee you will regret it if you don't live at all.</p> <p> </p><div class="media-element-container media-full"> <div id="file-19" class="file file-image file-image-jpeg"> <h2 class="element-invisible"><a href="/file/19">Midlife_motorcycle.jpeg</a></h2> <div class="content"> <span id="styles-1-0" class="styles file-styles large"> <img width="425" height="270" id="1" typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.shannonmiller.me/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/Midlife_motorcycle.jpeg?itok=dU_Aw-62" alt="" title="" /></span> </div> </div> </div> <p><strong>7 Quick tips to help you get the most out of your Mid-life (Crisis) Awakening</strong></p> <p>1. Explore something new that has always been in the back of your mind.</p> <p>2. Be okay with letting go of old goals that don't feel good anymore.</p> <p>3. Don't be afraid to release friendships that no longer align with your new path.</p> <p>4. Volunteer your time.</p> <p>5. Meditate.</p> <p>6. Learn to say no to people and things that deplete you.</p> <p>7. Have fun, if you are not having fun you are not living life.</p> <p> </p> <p>I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic, please comment below.</p> </div></div></div><div class="field field-name-field-tags field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/growth" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Growth</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/transition" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">transition</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/change" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">change</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/purpose" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">purpose</a></div></div></div> Wed, 08 Apr 2015 20:18:38 +0000 Shannon 16 at http://shannonmiller.me http://shannonmiller.me/2015/04/08/its-not-a-midlife-crisis-its-a-midlife-awakening-so-enjoy-it#comments What you need to know when your life falls apart [4 Tips to help you survive transition] http://shannonmiller.me/2015/03/25/what-you-need-to-know-when-your-life-falls-apart-4-tips-to-help-you-survive-transition <div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>It is important to remember that a transition in life may or may not be chosen. Forced change can show up with the sudden loss of a loved, divorce or a loss of a job and these moments in life are more than what we call change. For many people these moments can feel very similar to death because the way they occur can be sudden and often devastating. It is important to recognize that a desired change and well calculated plan to do so is not the same as a sudden transition. A sudden transition can leave you feeling like your whole life is fallng apart. When we experience a sudden emotional blow to the head that sends us reeling we need to take time to regroup and consider our alternatives. However,  this is often easier said than done because we don't have the time to plan for the fallout that a big life change can present so it makes us feel unprepared and afraid. We don't know what the hell happened and better yet have no idea where to even start to stop the nightmare. These are some things I have found useful for dealing with this scary part of life.</p> <p><strong><br /> <div class="media-element-container media-full"> <div id="file-17" class="file file-image file-image-png"> <h2 class="element-invisible"><a href="/file/17">transition-sky.png</a></h2> <div class="content"> <span id="styles-1-0" class="styles file-styles large"> <img width="480" height="360" id="1" typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://shannonmiller.me/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/transition-sky.png?itok=p_0wV1U7" alt="" title="" /></span> </div> </div> </div> <p></p></strong></p> <p><strong>1. Reach out to family and friends</strong></p> <p>For some of you of you like myself this part may be very hard but it often proves to be a life saver. I am a private person so I have never been great with sharing my day to day life or relationship problems. Many of us grow up with the idea of dealing with everything ourselves. Most importantly, when it comes to relationships we all know how devastating a negative word against our partner can be because many people never forget it. That is why it is very important to confide in people you trust, those that really want the best for you and are not overly judgmental. Yes, sometimes this can be hard if not impossible to do but one person is better than no person, so keep that in mind.</p> <p><strong>2. Lay off the sauce</strong></p> <p>No, not BBQ sauce, I am talking about wine, beer whatever your pleasure. I understand that for some having a drink can take the edge off and numb the pain but it is something that is temporary. More often than not, we wake up the next day feeling worse about ourselves. In the moment it may feel like a relief, however alcohol is a tricky beast that starts as an "I don't give a damn"  stimulant to a "what happened to my life" depressive. Fun in moderation, hell in transition. I enjoy a good time but I know all to well the ass we can make of ourselves drinking when in  bad place and the crap we feel when we wake up and know we want better.</p> <p><strong>3. Give your time to Good</strong></p> <p>If you have free time why not volunteer some of the awesome skills you have. It's a great way to meet positive people and give you some feel good meaning during a hard time. If you ask friends and family or reach out to coworkers I bet there is a cause that is dying for your help. If you don't know where to start there are many weekend charities looking for a hand. This was a lifesaver for me. I began to listen and found that there where causes that needed my unique talents and they didn't require some perfection they were just happy to have my time. I started saying yes more and spending a day or evening of service made me feel good about myself and they opened me up to a world of positive people doing awesome things. I made some great use of my free time and I felt amazing doing it. It made me realize I should have been doing this all along. Sometimes chaos requires a distraction and I can't think of one better than offering up your service. It fills you and the world up and it just may lead to other opportunities in your future.</p> <p><strong>4.  Stop trying to figure it all out now</strong></p> <p>Transition can give you amazing moments of growth but it can also be frustrating as hell. We are conditioned to figure our everything and our friends and familiy uttering the constant question of "what are you going to do" don't help. What we must remember is we don't need to have it all figured out. It's a process, we need to be kinder to ourselves than we have ever been. We must resist the temptation to feel pressured to have life all figured out and be okay with the unknown. Ultimately things unfold and a new journey begins but that timeline cannot come by force. Being present, kind and aware is all we can aid in the process.</p> <p>If we are mindful of the process and use this as an opportunity to grow, we can actually come out of a difficult time stronger than we were before.</p> <p>If you have any tips or comments please share them below as I would be honored to hear from you.</p> </div></div></div><div class="field field-name-field-tags field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/life" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">life</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/transition" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">transition</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/self-care" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">self care</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/change" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">change</a></div></div></div> Wed, 25 Mar 2015 19:55:39 +0000 Shannon 15 at http://shannonmiller.me http://shannonmiller.me/2015/03/25/what-you-need-to-know-when-your-life-falls-apart-4-tips-to-help-you-survive-transition#comments