Shannon Simone Miller - mindfulness https://shannonmiller.me/tags/mindfulness en The power of losing control & 4 tips to finding freedom https://shannonmiller.me/2016/02/11/the-power-of-losing-control-4-tips-to-finding-freedom <div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>I'm a control freak, truth be told it has always been that way. Who knows exactly why, some would argue it's because I am the oldest child and that goes with the territory. Whatever the reason, it's something I am working on and the more I work on it the better I am at letting go.</p> <p> </p><div class="media-element-container media-full"> <div id="file-47" class="file file-image file-image-jpeg"> <h2 class="element-invisible"><a href="/file/47">Letting Go Lao Tzu.jpg</a></h2> <div class="content"> <span id="styles-5-0" class="styles file-styles large"> <img width="480" height="480" id="5" typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://www.shannonmiller.me/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/Letting%20Go%20Lao%20Tzu.jpg?itok=semlsotg" alt="" title="" /></span> </div> </div> </div> <p>Type A personalities or those often dubbed as control freaks or perfectionists seem to hold the common idea that no one can do what they need to do as good as them. This fact is illuminated when it comes to a passion project. It could be a business venture, a hobby they love, raising children or something as simple as redecorating a room.</p> <p>There are many benefits to wanting to go all in and being intimately involved in very single aspect of something. You have the benefit of not being able to blame someone else if something sucks or goes wrong. You can take all the credit when things go right while making sure that every little thing is just exactly as you had planned. With a business this can allow you to keep costs low by doing most of what needs to be done yourself,  in the ending saving you heaps of money or <em>does it</em>?</p> <p>The downfall of trying to stay in control of everything is that is extremely exhausting. We don't benefit from those in our life that have skills to bring to the table. It utilizes most of  our resources allowing little time for much else.  Staying in control of everything can inhibit us from building trusting relationships with people in our inner circle.</p> <p>Think about the parent that doesn't trust the teacher (I don't mean one not so good teacher that is not worthy of this roll) to teach and guide the student in the classroom environment. The constant trumping  of the teachers roll can in fact make the teacher give less to the student because they don't want to fight the parent anymore.</p> <p>In business this can lead to delayed project launches, disengaged and uninspired employees and actually cost your far more than you think you are saving by doing it all yourself. I know about this first hand, I have had huge projects that I tried to don every hat possible, thinking I know better than anyone else because it is <em>MY</em> baby. I thought I wasn't delayed correcting  someone else's work, or  paying someone to do it and everything would be just PERFECT.</p> <p>What I learned about not being brave enough to lose control was that it prohibited me from creating a expert team that I could trust. That tool belt was empty and it was all my fault. I got the glory but I also got a huge delay, releasing  something into the world that should have been done so much sooner.  It impacted the areas that I did best because I was so darn tired trying to be the solo captain of the ship that should a stormy sea arise, the ship could in fact sink.</p> <p>The power of losing control also applies to your spiritual life. In reality, other than our own actions we have little control over some circumstances we are faced with in life.  We use all of our efforts to go outside to keep everything in a neat little box that we forget to go within. We don't polish up areas of life that can serve us like faith, patience and grace. We become less able ale to pivot if something unexpected happens.</p> <p>The more we are able to see the power that exists in losing control so many areas of our life benefit. We see deeper bonds in our human relationships, business projects get launched faster and we begin to trust our own resilience and that adds calm to our spirit.</p> <p>Several years ago if I was faced with a huge disappointment it would rock my world, leaving me feeling bummed out longer than it should.  Frustration would lead to anger and as we know anger rarely leads anywhere. I am now able to pivot better, learning that a disappointment means something wasn't meant for me the way it was and I can work on making it something that would be.</p> <p>The funny thing is, in losing control you actually gain so much more control over your life and peace of mind than you can imagine; It seems counterintuitive, but it's true.</p> <p>Here are 4 Simple tip to help you embrace the power of losing control and feel free</p> <p><strong>1. DELEGATE, DELEGATE, DELEGATE</strong></p> <p>Start with one task you feel comfortable delegating to a person you trust delegating to. Start small, see how it goes and check in on yourself. Don't expect magic overnight, it's all about starting where you are.</p> <p><strong>2. Have A Conversation</strong></p> <p>If you would like to open up an area of your life more, share that with someone. I think most people are very understanding. So, if you have been a control freak with them in the past, acknowledge this fact with them and explain it is something you are working on. Good people will help you move mountains if you let them. The byproduct of the conversation can be a deeper human bond.</p> <p><strong>3. Examine The Worst Case Scenario</strong></p> <p>It is often our imagined mental hypothetical  that can terrorize us. Once you go over what the worst case scenario is, and can sit with that comfortably it can relieve a tremendous amount of pressure.  It is also a good place to gauge if this is the correct area to release control. This is not about going through the world willy nilly but about making intelligent decisions that work for you.</p> <p><strong> 4. Practice Faith</strong></p> <p>When you find a way to practice faith, it pours into your personal power like a beautiful stream. Faith in you higher power, faith in nature, whatever faith means to you. Sitting in your house of worship, practicing meditation or getting outside for a walk are all great ways to practice faith. You can remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, if something isn't working out as you like you can gain valuable insight into what may need to be altered. It allows you to see what you truly have control over and what you don't; that alone can be calming.</p> <p> </p> <p>These are only a few suggestions so feel free to come up with some of your own.  I highly suggest you write down  your pain point (an area you are deciding to work on) then review it monthly for a six month period to see your progress. Feel free to jot down any notes or irritations along the way. You will find that with mindful action, what felt like an impossibility today can become part of your new reality.</p> <p>If you know someone that can benefit from this, please share it with them. As always leave your comments or opinions because your insights may just help someone else.</p> </div></div></div><div class="field field-name-field-tags field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/mindfulness" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">mindfulness</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/success" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">success</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/life" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">life</a></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-field-related-article field-type-entityreference field-label-above"><div class="field-label">You may also like:&nbsp;</div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><a href="/2015/07/24/free-yourself-from-mental-blocks-and-unleash-your-creativity">Free yourself from mental blocks and unleash your creativity</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/2015/05/08/be-brave-enough-to-say-i-love-you-more-often">Be brave enough to say I love you more often</a></div></div></div> Fri, 12 Feb 2016 05:57:05 +0000 Shannon 42 at https://shannonmiller.me https://shannonmiller.me/2016/02/11/the-power-of-losing-control-4-tips-to-finding-freedom#comments Cut the noise to claim more peace in your life https://shannonmiller.me/2016/01/06/cut-the-noise-to-claim-more-peace-in-your-life <div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p>Does your head ever feel like exploding because of all the noise? I bet you are nodding yes.</p> <p>There is so much noise in the world, there is good noise like the noise of people laughing, birds chirping and even your own voice howling away to your favorite song. But there is also a huge amount of unnecessary noise, noise like piles of news clips running in the background, Facebook statues so long and never ending that they begin to fill your dreams.</p> <p> </p><div class="media-element-container media-full"> <div id="file-44" class="file file-image file-image-jpeg"> <h2 class="element-invisible"><a href="/file/44">Claim your calm.jpg</a></h2> <div class="content"> <span id="styles-1-0" class="styles file-styles large"> <img width="480" height="480" id="1" typeof="foaf:Image" src="https://www.shannonmiller.me/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/Claim%20your%20calm.jpg?itok=99OKwuBM" alt="" title="" /></span> </div> </div> </div> <p>To achieve the success you desire in your life you need to we willing, once and for all to cease some of the mind numbing distractions and claim a greater state of calm.</p> <p>It's important to stay up to date with what's going on in the world but if you seek to do great things (whatever that is for you) you need to go on a distraction diet to claim your calm. Studies have shown that an over-consumption of too much of anything is not a good thing. Negative news stories and gossip can actually add to your anxiety and affect your stress and coping skills, and not in a good way.</p> <p>You only have so many hours in your day and space in your mind. Getting honest about what you are putting in your head and what you are doing to while away your time is important. If you think you have it all reigned in (and maybe some of you have) I challenge you for one week to keep a log of all the time you spend online and sitting in front of the television, time with the TV blaring news in the background counts too. This includes all time online EVEN if you are on your phone while waiting for an appointment.</p> <p>I think you will be shocked to learn how much time you truly spent feeding the noise monster and with that information you are taking the first steps toward more success and health in your life.</p> <p>Be brutally honest as there is no sense in lying to yourself. When you know the what then you can tackle the why and begin to focus on habits that will help you rock life in a big way.</p> <p><strong>Here is a 6 step Rx for fending off the calm sucking monsters in your life.</strong></p> <p><strong>1.</strong> Do not check your computer, phone or email first thing in the morning unless you are waiting on critical information that you can't possibly move forward without;  this rarely is the case. Even after years of running an online business, I can tell you that most things can wait until a couple hrs after you start your day.</p> <p><strong>2.</strong> Logout of your social media accounts on your phone before bed. Go into your settings and force stop them on your phone. Do not log in until the time you decide you are ready to use them. This will keep pesky alerts and blinking lights from impacting your sleep AND it will keep you from jumping to look at notifications during the day. This clearly with not be an easy task for most people so, be ready for a bit of discomfort. I can tell you from experience that after a few days you will begin to enjoy the freedom that comes with not reading every comment or crazy news story you see.</p> <p><strong>3.</strong> Spend more time with people that laugh more and gossip less. Spend time with people that lift you up and are interested in talking about ideas more than people.</p> <p><strong>4.</strong> Consider adding a meditation practice to your day. It can be a simple five minutes of quiet to get your mind more centered. Focus on what you have to be grateful for. Don't worry about all the thoughts running sprints through your head simply let yourself just be. This isn't a contest for perfection it's a challenge to just do. After some practice you may start to find that you look forward to this quiet time.</p> <p><strong>5.</strong> If you have a long commute have some audio books ready for your drive, pepper your selections with something uplifting and inspiring. You can get many audio books free of charge from your local library. The same goes for carrying a book with you at all times, it will help fend of the peace robbing villains that live in your phone.</p> <p><strong>6.</strong> Give yourself a break. Your inner critics needs a time out. Let your mind dance to the thoughts of all you are doing right that is helping you move toward your successful life. Thank yourself, yes, let your mind say a great big thank you. You deserve it.</p> <p>With a bit of practice you will see that the lack of negative noise in your life makes your feel more creative and connected to what matters. Before you know it you will be an old pro.</p> <p>If you had good lucky with these tips or have some of your own I would love to hear from you, so comment below. If you know someone this can help please share it with them.</p> </div></div></div><div class="field field-name-field-tags field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/success" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">success</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/life" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">life</a></div><div class="field-item even"><a href="/tags/mindfulness" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">mindfulness</a></div><div class="field-item odd"><a href="/tags/peace" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">peace</a></div></div></div><div class="field field-name-field-related-article field-type-entityreference field-label-above"><div class="field-label">You may also like:&nbsp;</div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even"><a href="/2015/07/31/how-to-tame-your-distractions-to-get-more-done">How to tame your distractions to get more done</a></div></div></div> Wed, 06 Jan 2016 08:34:21 +0000 Shannon 39 at https://shannonmiller.me https://shannonmiller.me/2016/01/06/cut-the-noise-to-claim-more-peace-in-your-life#comments