Be careful who you share your dreams with
Are you thinking about or have you already started embarking on a new chapter in your life and don't feel like you are being supported by those in your inner circle?
Don't fear, this is not uncommon in fact it is more common than not. The reasons vary, some people may be jealous, others live in fear and you pursuing your dream shines some bright lights on the fact that maybe they are too afraid to follow theirs. In the rare case, some people may just be haters and those people shouldn't be in your life to begin with. A haters negative energy will just drag you down leaving you feeling empty which is the last thing in the world you need.
If you have heard "you're crazy" "how are you going to make that work" "aren't you too old?" or "what will you do for money?" you have already learned the hard way to be careful who you share your dreams with. If by some great fortune you have avoided this giant step in dog poop then consider yourself lucky, you have been warned.
There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not? -Robert Kennedy
Maybe you are going back to school after years in the workforce, maybe you are starting a business, maybe you are putting together a movie or, who knows, maybe you are selling every last item you have and moving to the other side of the globe to teach yoga. Who does these things you may ask? I actually have friends doing each one of the cited examples and how cool is that for them?
You might think that you should be able to share your deepest hearts desires with anyone in your life and they are going to leap up, hug you and cheer you on right? WRONG.
For anyone of us that has embarked on a new chapter and had anyone say something fearful or negative to dissuade us you know it can feel like a one two punch to the gut. It doesn't matter how tough you are it still hurts the heart. In some cases it could cause a person to abandon ship because they have been fighting through a painful battle in life. Perhaps you were one of those "what are you doing" folks, if so knock it off, you can do better.
You deserve to pursue your goals and passions with joy and freedom. A huge part of that process is creating a safe place you can grow and thrive in. That begins with sharing your dreams with those who are safe and get you. If it is only one person so be it, you don't need a tribe, you need one; if you are lucky to have a few count your blessings.
You don't need to feel bad for keeping some things close to your chest. You don't need to feel guilty for not telling the world everything. I bet you have at least one person in your life that would throw one of those fear remarks at you, if you are fortunate to know that in advance don't make the decision to try to let them in and hope for a different outcome.
You have one life to live, YOURS. You owe it to yourself to live like you mean it by filling yourself up without someone poking holes in your water jug.
Have you had this experience? Comment below and tell me.
The 4 best places to meet new positive people
Do you feel like you are on the right path but you feel like you need new people to share the journey with?
Do you feel surrounded by people stuck in the same place and some that even seem to resent your progress?
What you are experiencing is quite common and you are not alone. With any major shift in your life there will come moments of struggle and heartache. It's called growing pains; it's awesome but it can also be tremendously painful.
It may go something like this...
So, you have committed to going after your passion and making big changes in your life, you are feeling optimistic and excited but something feels amiss. You think to yourself, I am excited, I feel awesome but the people around me don't seem to feel the same way.
We begin to feel like we relate less, our conversations get shorter and lack the depth that they once had. We begin to feel a bit sad or disconnected. Some of us may even try to slip back into our old shoes for a moment to connect leaving us feeling hollow or fake.
When we choose to live our passion we often grow in a different direction than those we have shared our life with.
We may be ready for more in our life while others seem to be content staying still. We wonder why everyone doesn't feel the same way we do and it leaves us feeling confused and disconnected.
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best- Epictetus
What you need is to infuse your life with some new positive people, the kind of people that will cheer you on and lift you up.
So I bet you are wondering where you find these like minded souls. These fellow travelers are all around you and I am going to give you 4 places to find them. The best part about any one of these ideas is that it only takes meeting one new person on a similar path to connect you with more.
The 4 best places to meet new positive people
1. Toastmasters International https://www.toastmasters.org -Toastmasters Is public speaking/ networking organization. Not only will you meet positive upbeat people you will also learn the skills to be an excellent speaker and communicator. There are meetings almost every night (lunch time too) of the week someone in the world. Check out the website for a group near you.
2. Search Yahoo Meetups http://yahoo.meetup.com - You will find everything from business networking groups to hiking clubs. Read through the descriptions and find a Meetup that sounds good to you. If you don't like one you can always try another. I find that in addition to networking groups, outdoor clubs also attract positive healthy people.
3. Your Church or Place of worship Wherever you go to connect with God or your higher power attracts some good people that want to share light with the world. If you don't have a regular place, ask to join a friend or try someplace new.
4. Local Charitable Organization https://www.volunteermatch.org Find a charity that speaks to you and see what volunteer outreach they do on the weekends and then show up for the next event. I guarantee you will meet some energetic folks looking to do good and make friends. For a list of ideas in your area check out https://www.volunteermatch.org
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Stop being so hard on yourself it may be making you sick
Many of us grow up learning that we need to keep pushing forward, at all times and at all costs. But when do we recognize that we need a break and let ourselves be okay with that? In the pursuit of success and our dreams many of us fail to listen to our bodies and minds and allow ourselves a much needed timeout from all that we are doing. We keep working when we are sick for fear that we will be left behind or that the world just won't be able to get on without us. Trust me, it can and it will, in fact the world benefits from the best version of you and that comes with taking care of yourself.
I am writing this at the tail end of what was a nasty bug of some type. I was worn out, sneezing and exhausted and yet slimming down what I was doing was a real mental challenge. Somewhere deep down I felt like I should be doing more. So, the typical dialogue ensues, I should... (yes, DOT, DOT, DOT ) you know the drill.
You forgot to pick up the milk from the grocery? Unbelievable! Dinner gets burned, oh the horror, how could we let this happen. We should have known to check the oven 10 minutes earlier, despite juggling fifty other things. In some unrealistic way we often have super human expectations of ourselves and it is making many of us sick. We can get mentally and emotionally sick compliments of the pile of stress we place on ourselves. We have expectations we would not expect from a friend or family member but somehow we expect from ourselves.
The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. -Anna Quindlen
We must honor our need to dial things down a bit at times. Treat yourself like you would a friend, you should consider yourself your first best friend and treat yourself as such. When you feel worn out and frazzled ask yourself, "would I expect this of my friends or family?" If the answer is no, then take time to pause and take some steps to be kind to yourself.
Stop being so hard on yourself with these 4 Tips
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
Have you ever really met the Joneses? Me neither and if you did I am not too sure you would want to be friends with them anyway. Someone will always have more or less stuff, knowledge or time than do you. Comparing yourself to others is a sure fire way to add more stress to your life. It is the first ingredient in being hard on yourself. Don't do it.
2. Say NO to tasks that are not vital
Your plates is full so saying no to tasks that are not vital can lighten your load and remove some stress. It will give you the ability to complete what matters most leaving you with a sense of accomplishment.
3. Allow yourself downtime
Take a nap, get outside to enjoy the sunshine, pick up a book or dive into a hobby that you haven't let yourself enjoy in a while. You work hard and you deserve time to enjoy life, give yourself permission and make it a priority.
4. Disconnect from technology
Put down your cell phone, walk away from Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Give yourself at least one full day a month (a week would be ideal but let's start small) disconnecting from these constant sources of noise. Allow your head to have some calm and clarity without the streams of activity and action flooding your weary mind. (See #1) As my dear friend Tania Mulry would say " You need a digital detox." The non-stop connection with technology has become an epidemic, so much so that Tania did a TedX talk on the very issue. You can watch it here.
Just remember you are not here to play superman or superwomen you are here to play you. Embrace your triumphs and me kind to yourself, you deserve it.
Did you enjoy these tips? If so please comment & share the good stuff.
Don't put your dreams on hold just because everyone else does
I met a person floating in the ocean one day recently; I guess there is a strange first for everything. It was an unusually hot day so I went down to the beach with my sister. We floated in the water talking about how my nephew that just graduated high school wants to travel for a bit before college. Of course, that is met with the typical family freak out, I however think it is a fantastic idea.
There was a woman floating that happened to overhear our conversation and piped in. She was several years older than me and began to share her feelings about travel, how much you learn, how great it is to see how other people live and then some. I agreed with her on every point so we got to talking while we floated in the Pacific Ocean in Los Angeles. She shared with me how at one point in her life she quit her job, sold everything and moved to Japan for two years. While she was there she studied and learned the language and taught English. She met a US diplomat that would later help her secure an amazing job.
She shared with me how everyone thought she was crazy for just leaving on her adventure. She had a love and dream to travel and she did it. Now years later she is ready to retire with her husband and rent their house out and take off traveling again. She said following her dream was the best thing she ever did, she said she never understood how so many people wait their entire life to retire to then follow a dream they have. I agree, what we have right now is the present. When something calls to us deeply we should find a way to act on it sooner than later. We don't know what the future holds and waiting until someday can rob us of living a life that matters.
Everyone's dream is different, not everyone wants to sell everything and travel, for many of you it is starting a business, or engaging in work that really lights you up, for others it's figuring out a way to stay home with your children the common theme is defining a life that matters to you. Not creating a life everyone will agree with or your family will approve of but designing a life that is as unique and special as you are.
That is quote really sums it up “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present” -Alice Morse Earle
What we have now is the present and what we allow ourselves to create in the now will ultimately be our future. Breaking free from the status quo isn't always easy so I won't try to tell you it is. There will be many people that will tell you that you are crazy or foolish so you need to be prepared to acquire a thick skin if you don't already have it. We all want the people that love us to support us in anything we do and sadly that doesn't always happen. It is knowing this that can often cause a feeling of reservation or fear. A great way to combat this is remembering who is telling you what and why.
Those that will call you crazy are often those that are too afraid to live a life of passion themselves, this is an absolute fact. It is also a fact that in all my years of speaking with successful people about what moves and inspires them I have never met one highly successful person that will call someone else's dream crazy. They just think different as the award winning Apple campaign said. The future is the unknown but you can change your life by taking one step toward a new goal today. Don't put your dreams on hold just because everyone else does.
5 Quick Tips to Help you begin on your dream today
1. Be clear about what it is you want- without clarity you can't have focus. Without focus, you can't make any strides forward.
2. Focus your attention on your new goal- Focus requires you to make your dream your priority, giving it your full attention. When you have clarity of your dream you will find that your focus begins to come naturally.
3. Outline what it is you need to achieve your goal- You don't need to have everything figured out, you simply need to give yourself a few things that need to be done in the now to move you forward. For instance if your dream is to become a therapist, you may need to go back to school. You can request program information as a first step. If you want to start a new business find out what information you need to do so. Take some time to research your industry or products. If you already have that in order a first step may be getting a web site built or obtaining a business license.
4. Be selective who you share your dream with- I can't stress this enough, so many people have their attempts to begin on a new path trashed because someone in their intimate circle thought they were crazy and they took it to heart. If you need some positive like minded people to interact with joining an in person or online networking group can be a great place to meet upbeat "can do" people that will cheer you on.
5. Find coach- A coach is not your friend, a coach is someone that pushes you and guides you forward while also holding you accountable for your progress. A coach can help you come up with a plan and make huge strides. A coach is a vital tool that will only serve you if you are serious about changing/expanding your life. A great coach can help push and guide you to your new destiny.
You are capable and deserving of living out a life of passion and fulfillment. Don't put your dreams on hold just because everyone else does.
If you interested in a personal coaching plan to help you take your life to the next level you can contact me and set up a free 30 minute consultation to see if we are a good fit for each other.
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Success tips from twelve of the world's most successful people
Success isn't always a straight line, In fact, it rarely is. More often than not it is a winding road of stops, starts, and potholes.
The journey is the biggest wildest part of the adventure and should be enjoyed as such. If you don't take time to enjoy what you learn along the way you will indeed miss the whole point.
Here are quotes from twelve of the world's most successful people who truly get it and have made their mark in areas as wide as media to spirituality.
If you have some favorites of your own, don't forget to share them in the comments below.
Enjoy these Success tips from twelve of the world's most successful people
"The reason I've been able to be so financially successful is my focus has never, ever for one minute been money."-Oprah Winfrey
"My definition of success? The more you're actively and practically engaged, the more successful you will be." -Richard Branson
"Without an open-minded mind, you can never be a great success." -Martha Stewart
"Judge your success by what you had to give up to get it." -Dalai Lama
“It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.” -Ellen Degeneres
"If you create incredible value and information for others that can change their lives - and you always stay focused on that service - the financial success will follow." -Brendon Burchard
“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.” -Tony Robbins
"I'm convinced that about half of what separates successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance." -Steve Jobs
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” -Maya Angelou
"I'm not really interested in making money. That's always come as the result of success, but it's not been my goal, and I've had a tough time proving that to people." -Steven Spielberg
“Let’s think beyond the normal stuff and have an environment where that sort of thinking is encouraged and rewarded and where it’s okay to fail as well. Because when you try new things, you try this idea, that idea… well a large number of them are not gonna work, and that has to be okay. If every time somebody comes up with an idea it has to be successful, you’re not gonna get people coming up with ideas.” - Elon Musk
"We need to accept that we won't always make the right decisions, that we'll screw up royally sometimes - understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success." -Arianna Huffington